Thinking of a very special friend

I have a very special friend, called Marta, who's in love with pandas. And I'm in love with pandas now, as well. I saw this pic on tumblr and It just reminded me of her. 

I miss her.

Tear drops everywhere

Is this what growing up is about? I mean, losing people? Learning that we are going to end up alone if we try to make every single person around us feel good?

Because, by doing something good to someone, you always hurt another person... It shouldn't be like that. But it seems like everyone is living inside this HUGE freaking bubble of drama and egocentrism that being nice to your friends and in peace with every single person no longer matter.

But it matters to me. It always does. And even when I think I have to stop being a fool, always trying to put everything in the place, everybody in harmony, fixing everything, I end up doing it anyway and forgetting that I'm the one who needs to be fixed. Because I can't take this anymore.

I can't take fake people. Fake FRIENDS, for God's sake. I always give my best to everyone and try to call people's attention to how feeling rejected feels like, and I'm the one who ends up aside and gossiped because of things I didn't do or say.

It's just so unfair... I feel completely alone. And surrounded by lies and wickedness. Would it be better to everyone if I just stopped existing?

  

Lisbon - Break from my busy life

I've been working a lot for school final exams, so I haven't really went out or hang out with friends. But last Thursday I went to Lisbon because my friend Marta invited me to her birthday dinner and it felt like a light in the dark. I had so much fun! It was not much time, but I came home much more relaxed and feeling a lot like going back to Lisbon next year (hopefully in med school).

So, here it is. Hope you all are bright and happy. I'm still working on that part, but I'm much better.
Love, Maria