Is this what growing up is about? I mean, losing people? Learning that we are going to end up alone if we try to make every single person around us feel good?
Because, by doing something good to someone, you always hurt another person... It shouldn't be like that. But it seems like everyone is living inside this HUGE freaking bubble of drama and egocentrism that being nice to your friends and in peace with every single person no longer matter.
But it matters to me. It always does. And even when I think I have to stop being a fool, always trying to put everything in the place, everybody in harmony, fixing everything, I end up doing it anyway and forgetting that I'm the one who needs to be fixed. Because I can't take this anymore.
I can't take fake people. Fake FRIENDS, for God's sake. I always give my best to everyone and try to call people's attention to how feeling rejected feels like, and I'm the one who ends up aside and gossiped because of things I didn't do or say.
It's just so unfair... I feel completely alone. And surrounded by lies and wickedness. Would it be better to everyone if I just stopped existing?
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